. . . when your kid spends at least 20 minutes picking the red onions out of his stir-fry, all the while eating mushrooms (which he Hates) because he doesn’t realize they aren’t chicken!
Win!
Month: August 2015
Some Lovely Little Things
SOME LOVELY THINGS
A handful of randomness, things that make our days just simply Nice…
Heart Shaped Cookie Cutters and Left Over Coconut Icing make breakfast really really fun and delicious. These things are important when dealing with the ups and downs of life!
Spending one’s birthday money on a one’s first pet fish is a major life win. Welcome Luke SeaWater
Having an eye for the pretty things brings colour to our lives. And this is essential for a happy soul.
Being aware of the vastness around us, and also being open to the effects this might be having on us… also a good idea 😀
Shoo Bugs Or Shoe Bugs, That Is The Question!
At some point while we were spending our days camped out beside the pool, some nasty unwelcome critters decided to camp out in my kitchen. And then their cousins moved into my computer. What is it with bugs?! Of the viral sort and the ugly unwelcome sort? Uninvited but also apparently not posting enough No Bugs Allowed signs…
So if I seem a bit scattered and absent this past few weeks, it is because between the PineSol and the SpyWare, the Shooing and the Shoeing (attack of the mad mother and her slipper…), I’ve been on a mission.
Mission Successful. Although, now I have a massive headache (aren’t all humans allergic to concentrated pine?) and am using an internet browser I am not comfortable with. But my eyes are open and the guards are up. Because let’s be honest here, they will just move next door, and when they are chased away, they will try to come back!
Upside, if there is one, nothing like clearing out the cupboards and desktop folders to inspire a clean sweep and declutter!
Connected
We are of the sensitive folk. And so will take things seriously. Will vibrate with the feels. And we will need a bit of extra care and cozying to cheer us back up.
I bet if anyone came into our home right now they would feel the empathy zinging!
What Makes Your Garden Grow?
Someone remarkably wise and wonderful told me something the other day that I want to share. It is a wisdom passed on to her, to be passed on to others, so while I might be paraphrasing, I don’t believe I am plagiarizing.
Here it is. To have a garden we have to first deal with the shit. Literally. For a ripe garden to grow to fruition, we first have to mix in the manure. Have the crap dumped, and mix that stuff in with the soil. For a garden to grow, there needs to be a rich foundation of crap! And that stuff will be ripe in its own way. It will smell. Bad. It will be our shit, and we won’t like it. But. It is necessary. And, the smell will fade. The seeds will be planted, the sprouts will appear. (Sometimes squirrels might run off with our sprouts and seeds, but we can chase those creeps off! We can scatter the buggers!) At some point when we are starting to notice the strong plants reaching for the sunlight, we will also notice that we haven’t been noticing the smell, the shit! It will fade as the garden blossoms. And one day we will be surrounded with the fruits of the shit, and of our labour, and we will be ok.
The day she told me this, was the perfect day for me to hear this. When I got home from our meeting, I had to deal with some shit. Not actual, but shit that I was grateful I had a metaphor to symbolize with. Because as I was dealing with said shit, I could then tell myself over and over that this was just the shit before the sunshine fed sunflowers. I am still telling myself this, and it helps!
So remember, when there is shit, and oh there will be, it is just part of the juice that will bring about the garden of your dreams! And it will fade until all you have around you are the hard earned fruits of your labour.
And those, my dears, smell great.
Unless what you are growing is more manure…in which case I suppose you are doing fine as well. But I would rather think about sunflowers.
Camped Out
Perhaps it is the nagging feeling that as his mother I can do best. But my heart aches right now. My boy came home from camp sullen and quiet. Where I was expecting joys and never ending chatter about all the good times, instead he is withdrawn and sad. Clinging to me.
In amongst the over tired sadness that is exuding from his little being, there are tales of fun. Games played, skits watched, friends made. But it was not the life changing experience I imagined or hoped for him. Maybe it just wasn’t the right place for him. Maybe it was too soon, 8 too young, in his case. Maybe he is just really really tired, and was really really home sick. Maybe tomorrow he will be full of stories. Maybe this is just our personalities, dreamers, but attached home bodies. Maybe this is a fault of mine?! Maybe I am now being as dramatic as he is inclined to be at times. He learned from the best …  …  …
Right now we are both just glad to be in the same space, and I know I am going to be holding him tighter for a while. And maybe this is why the week apart was a good thing. Some space and time. Which perhaps we both needed. Admit it or not.
I know him. I know that when he is worn out, he is apt to dwell on the negative. And so I will keep drawing out the good memories. And we will talk about the rest some more. I will show him I respect his thoughts and feelings. I will listen. Tonight we re-ignite the routines that are apparently dear to him. And treasure each other. This is the gift of life, isn’t it?! To treasure those we love! And to try to help them grow, alongside us if possible, and in the right gardens.
We have time left in the summer to make more memories. And to learn from this time apart, together. And to get into some serious cheering up time!
Pancakes with icing for breakfast?! I say Yes!
When The Kids Away, The Mumma Does Play
Day 2.5 Mother Alone and Still Intact…
Today is FUNDAY!
“There are coffee grounds in the bath tub, beer in glass, home fries in the oven and mushrooms and onion on the stove! The more reasonable/friendly of the options for Party Mama!”
Day beers on the balcony, and while dicing veggies to saute to have on my home fries! This is what I get up to when I am left alone for a few days! Eatin things the kiddo won’t eat, drinkin the beers I don’t drink around him!
Hey nothing wrong with that, right?!
Today is FunDay! Adulting can be gotten back to tomorrow! ”
As for the coffee grounds in the bathtub, that was all about Mummy Play. Self Care. Creativity and a good use for used coffee grounds. Specifically, a body scrub made of old plain eastern indian yogurt brand and yesterdays coffee grounds. Yum! Skin is happy! Bathtub needs cleaning… No pictures, sorry!
Day 2, Child Away, Survival of …
Day 2. Survival Notes, of a Mother Alone
“Woke up earlier than necessary, why wake up if you are going to just feel tired? First thoughts are of course of my Elfkin. Little a little morning prayer of connection. And of my sister (who at the time of writing this was in the process of bringing an angel into our world! – more on that but I am an Auntie!)
Something else to lay pondering. While I am finally enjoying a much earned and deserved and needed break, she is entering motherhood!
Not that I am alone with Kissa The Butt (cat…) meyowling at me!
To make the most of this morning, I cleaned up the balcony a bit and had a nice mummy breakfast date with myself. It is nice to not have to know yet what is in store. And to know that when I do decide on something, I can just up and do it! Ah the freedom of it all! One’s head could spin with the very possibilities!
Had me a pretty pretty breakfast of pears, yogurt, muffin and cheese. I wonder what He is having for breakfast! I wonder what foods he will come home ready to request for order! Sausages I bet! I remember traying many a mighty sausage for those Kiddos when I worked in camp kitchens! I wonder if I got a job cooking again if we could just go live at a camp for a whole season next summer.
Ok it is apparent that I am missing him muchly. Time to stretch out and read a while! Bask in this moment. ”
Day One. Survival Of Me Time
Day One…
How to Survive Your Child’s First Time And Night Away At Camp…
SHOPPING FRENZY!!!
As the busses pull away, you head across the parking lot, misty eyed with the mass of other parents and givers of care finding themselves free for a while 5 days. Many are off to work. But you don’t have to do that until later in the afternoon…
So, what to do with this rare moment? SHOP! Or rather… head across the lot as the bus pulls away and immediately veer into the Sally Ann across the road. Hurray for conveniently placed 2nd hand stores!
Now, you know you aren’t really here to shop. Which is why you stay away from anything you really would enjoy owning or maybe even wearing. You are here to blow off some steam, and to hopefully find a pair of cheap but decent work pants. A 2nd set are handy let me tell you! But don’t let that shy you away from trying on every possible pair in the store, as well as a handful of other things you have no desire to own but that might just fit!
After a couple of hours, Oh yes I said A Couple Of Hours, your steam has probably been well released, and you can aim for home. For nice quiet strangely empty home sweet home.
Spend the rest of the day lazing and eating until the last possible moment when you have to get ready for work. It is good you have to work. Because home sweet home is feeling very empty and lonely, and some purpose will do you good!
But, when you are leaving work for the night, revel in the fact that you don’t have a curfew! In fact, go for it. Walk a few bus stops up, intent on taking in the evening air! Such a rarity. And a thrill that you in fact might just go for it and walk the whole way home! It isn’t dark yet, thank you summer lighting! And you can walk the bus route, so if you tire or feel creeped out, you can get on a bus. And if you are lucky you might even get a friendly wave from that adorable bus driver!
Did you make it home? Oh yes you did! And what are you doing now with your empty home and freedom? What any reasonable 38 year old woman might do. Have a bath! In fact find that bath bomb disc you bought thinking it was fruity smelling soap! The orange one! Oh look, it is orange but turns the water green! How fun is that?! And don’t forget about that candle you got in that christmas basket! I bet it is in the same basket as the bathbombdisc! Oh and remember it changes colour when it is lit! Fantastic!
This here is how you get through the first day of being alone with a week of you time ahead. You spend the time. Oh and some blueberry cheese cake icing with coconut and chocolate chunks on top helps too!
Making the Least and Most of Me Time
There are coffee grounds in the bathtub, salsa in the bowls and I just got back from a spur of the moment but hoped for hike and read in the park. Know what this means? Mama Time!
Kiddo has been at camp since Monday. The silence has been golden, let me tell you! But I miss his face so much sometimes that I have to go stand in his bedroom and fight tears. So he can come home now please!
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been a’weepin the entire time. It took some adjustment, oh about 24 hours, to get used being on my own for so long, and stress free to boot! Such luxury! But I have been mostly making the most of my free and alone time.
It is funny that I have had to talk myself into relaxing. Justifying lazing about watching tv on a day off! Before he went away, I made a list, or rather a collage, of things I wanted to do with my time. Focusing on that helped me stave off the anxiety of not being able to be there with him! Letting go and growing up is hard to do for me too, you know!
And now the week is coming to a close. Tomorrow afternoon I get to pick him up from camp and bring him home! I am alive with the anticipation of hearing all about his adventures, which I am sure I will, the entire ride home! Oh how much I can’t wait to hear his chattering again! In the mean time, I have a job interview in the morning to prepare for. And some more salsa to dig in to. I also have a couple of journal pages to send off to you at some point, but right now there is something sacred about keeping it all to myself.
Let’s just say that the coffee grinds in the bathtub are there for a reason, and I have a peaceful slowed down glow about me, when the cat is kind enough to stop nagging at me that is! The rest can be shared later on.
Peace in out and all around my friends! It is well earned and delicious!
tracesofnut 
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