Cultivating a Home

I have been reluctant to admit that I miss the place we left behind. But when I catch myself saying “back home”, I realize that it still feels like that. For better or worse, it is still home in my mind. And will always have a piece of my heart, like the other places I have been and gone from. And this might not be a bad thing. After starting a new life in silence, after all the things we have been through in the past, and in this past year, I haven’t really allowed myself to think happy thoughts about the place we left behind. But when I think of the place, and not the circumstances, I really do miss it, the area that was my home for a decade. For this kitchen witch wishes she could go walk down that familiar hill, visit that pumpkin farm, sit across from that friendly face at that table. I miss you. I miss there. There, I’ve said it. But There is very far away, and not an option for visiting in any way more than thought and sentiment.

Maybe because we have been so busy making House, I have yet to feel like this city is really the Home of my Heart. Not that I am thinking of going any place else. I know this is where we are now, and there are many wonderful things about living in this new city. Many necessary things. And much potential. Maybe it is the nostalgia of the season, maybe it is not seeing some loved faces for over a year now. Maybe it is that I need to go out and soak in the colour of the season. But we are home sick again, and not going to far this week. So as usual, I will absorb myself in the occupations of care giving and hand crafting.

Is sitting on the balcony with a mug of tea and my camera enough for now? Has to be, doesn’t it? Just need some leaves to adore. And pumpkins galore. Just because we can’t visit our friendly squash farm, doesn’t mean we are in a squash free zone!

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3 thoughts on “Cultivating a Home

  1. I can only imagine what you are going through. I lived in the same state, city, hick town, home, and bedroom from the time I was born till I was 22. Since then I’ve moved 7 times, but never out of my more local area.

    Hang in there. From watching my cousins move back to the states from Thailand years ago….I have a feeling that a part of you will always miss it and the memories made there, but you will make new memories in your new home and in time….the ache for home will probably hurt a bit less..:than a bit less….and eventually (probably slowly) where you are will feel like home.

    Hope things go well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou, truly. I think I am feeling more sentimental these days, the season perhaps. considering i am now surrounded by people i had in my life for the first 20 some years, i should be celebrating these connections. but the other friends, they live on in our hearts, dont they? i appreciate your words and am working on Keeping Heart, you know?

      Liked by 1 person

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