This morning went a little better. If by better you mean Someone woke up at 6 and was 3 episodes in to a tv show before Someone Else even opened her eyes this morning. What happens before Mummies door opens in the morning, is none of her business. Does this make me a bad mum? I don’t think so. But I am changing the rules. No more screen in bedroom. That is it. It is no longer charging in his room. School year means new rules. Since the easier ones aren’t working. After one is ready for school, when one’s Mother is desperate for 10 minutes with her coffee, one can use one’s tablet. Is that so bad? But no more of this turning it on before one’s eyes are fully open, so that one is red eyed and over tired before the day even starts. Summer is over, days have purpose again. This is my job, if not to wake at the crack of dawn with him, then to set boundaries again. It isn’t like I am sleeping past the school bell. I get up at 730 if I sleep in! And I start every day with a bleary eyed greeting. Hugs and talks and routines. Togetherness.
This morning went a little better. If by better you mean we were dressed, fed and washed before any meltdowns happened. If by better you mean Someone tried to fake puking to get out of school, and when that didn’t work, had a full blown teary eyed sob session in his mother’s arms because he couldn’t stay home. Which drove mother into a light-headed frenzied feeling, which she mostly managed to contain. Nothing like a rocking hug to make things better.
Here is the thing. It is ripping me apart sending him off when he has had a morning like this. The guilt is giving me heart burn. But I don’t want to create a habit of getting out of going to school. Not this soon in the year and not this easy. He is tired. Probably still fighting this cold. And I am beyond sympathetic. Maybe I am too sympathetic. Maybe this is the time when someone would say Toughen Up Kiddo. I won’t do that. I will dry his eyes, hug him, ease him on his way. But I am not going to set in motion an easy way out habit now. I am off work for a few days, we can have mellow evenings. Nurture and nurse our bodies and hearts until we are tip-top again. But this morning the tears are dried, the heart soothed, and the feet treading the path to school. The day awaits and I can only tell myself that he ill be distracted and fine by the time recess is upon him. And that I am doing all the right things, the best that I can. (Even if what part of me wants to do is run down the street to the office to call him home.)
This morning went a little better.