Steady On

I am a woman prone to anxiety. And a wild, stress fueled imagination. Fed by childhood traumas, grief, and decades of what can be called bad choices. And probably some element of genetics.

A few weeks ago, I started having spooky sensations at night. Which then caused me to get back to ye old insomnia. Poor sleep means bad nerves means poor sleep. Which then made me even more open to my fears.

I spoke to a few people about what I was experiencing. Some said ghostly visitors, some said I was kicking the bottom on the bed in my sleep. Someone thought maybe I have angels. I think now, looking back on how I felt, and what is going on in our personal lives right now, that my intuition was firing up.

One way or another, what I have been experiencing has reminded me to practice grounding, visualization and meditation, and to be open to the positive ideas and suggestions of others, but to listen to myself. And perhaps to tap in to some deeper meaning in life. To find purpose, and to focus on that.

Because what my son needs is a steady, healthy mother. And that is what I aim to be. And if it takes laying in bed at night with a sleep mask and some day dreams about becoming one with trees, than that is what I shall do!

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