I think that this camera is the thing keeping me myself lately. It is like having eyes into another world. Except it is this world that I am seeing more clearly, but with new eyes. With eyes that pick out the interesting, the colourful, the attractive. I need this.
When I was a kid, no scratch that, when I was a less responsible person, free to wander in my world and my mind, I liked to imagine myself lost in a dream world. I was very good at inventing fantasies to get me through the day. A practice honed through the survival skills of childhood traumas. And with this camera, I feel like I can spot pieces of that world emerging. Materializing. Which I don’t think is a bad thing. It is like letting a part of my personality come out to play. And if it keeps me balanced out, or helps me find a way to stay positive, I’m all for it.
My heart is on hold, my life is in transition. I have a never ending to do list and sometimes I feel like I can’t keep facing what comes at us every day. But this camera, it is the best gift I have ever received. Because it is so much more than a Thing. It is a conduit and a therapeutic tool. And it is a way for my son to see that Mama is ok, is still herself. All of my other creative tools are in boxes near and far. But this baby is never more than a hands reach away. And I can share it with him.
It is wonderful explaining to a child why I enjoy taking pictures so much. That this camera helps me to look for the good things around us. We both need this lesson. And I find so much joy and entertainment when he points out a superbly coloured leaf or spectacular bug! So here is to whatever it is that helps us stay positive, what shows us there is still good around us. I might even be a little bit good at this, but I am certainly happier for it!