Music has always been part of our days, part of Elfkin’s life. Could say even, that it is because of music that he is here. Music sounds our days, forms our routines. A song for everything. Bedtime music, morning music, songs to signify it is time to start, time to go, time to clean up. And of course time to dance. Since he could half way stand on his own little feet, he has been dancing. I’d hold him under his armpits and he’d jig all over the kitchen counters. Wiggle his bum, his little fingers, in time.I miss him on his trampoline jumping to reach me as we boogie!
Music has always been special for us. I’ve said many times, that certain love songs speak to me more of my relationship with my son than any romance could relate. And here, in a new life, now home, shared space, we are adjusting, redefining, trying to find ways to bring our music in. We need this. I don’t realize how much we need this, until the light gets brighter in Elfkin’s eyes when a familiar song comes on. Any chance I get, I am inserting our favourite songs into the moment. Drawing others in to our little game. Keeping something familiar, bringing the most wonderful part of life before into life now.
It melts my heart when I hear the little Elf singing in the bathtub or when he takes pencil crayons out. We still sing through our days, we just have to pick and choose our moments right now.
Last night I put on a song I used to play quite often. A song I always have to turn up, sing along to. Here comes little Elf with his arms outstretched. We hold each other and sort of chair waltz. We dance to this song, singing the chorus and trying to remember how the rest goes. This morning the same song comes on the radio while I am brushing my teeth. Or was it hair? Must have been hair, because there we are again, singing along. And walking to school, trying to remember the order of the words. This is important. This familiarity can help him retain a sense of connection to what was special and good. I feel like this is identity forming. But having him put his little arm around my waste and look up at me with happiness, shows me that he is alright, we are going to be just fine.
I asked my little Elfkin last night, when was he going to learn to play some Ed Sheeran on geetar so we could sing together? He said when I get Ed Sheeran to come and teach him how. Challenge accepted?
In the mean time, I’ve had this song on repeat for the past hour trying to relearn it, but I keep catching myself having missed most of it. Which is why it is still on repeat. And why there are never enough bucks in the world for all the music we love to have in our lives. And why it is essential that we will always be singing and dancing, and repeating when necessary.