I have been having a similar thought a lot lately. That as long as I am in a sort of depressed state, and that state is filtering how I feel and see things, I am not going to get out of that state. Seems like common sense, right? LIke this never ending sinus cold that has returned with a vengeance once again. If I indulge in misery over having a head ache or missing out on a nights sleep, I am just going to continue to feel more miserable, and then I am going to have even More misery. But if I can find a way out of or past resentment, if I can just shrug and let go a little, turn my feels around, maybe I will start to really come out of this. I keep seeing little opportunities, ways I can do it. And I have been paying attention to those. Ideas that could become plans. If I could just shake off the resentment of lost chances for sleep, or noise interference.
It is cause and effect laws of the universe. And I know this. I will get what I am open to receiving. And I do so want to feel Good. I am a believer in the positive. I said to Elf yesterday that I was afraid that one day what he would remember about me was that I was fun sometimes but tired a lot. I don’t want that to be all he can say about me. And I don’t really believe that. But it is a message I need to pay attention to. Rise up Woman!!! It really isn’t so bad, or hard! Even if it is just a small thing, a slight turn around, this dance of 2 steps forward and a few shuffles back every time I stumble a little, it isn’t going to get me very far. Time to add some stretches and leaps and maybe a flail or two to this jitterbug!
I should add for sake of not plagiarizing, that I have had Great Big Sea stuck in my head for days, a mantra about getting up and getting level. So go look up that song, it is going to be my theme, my rise up and fist pump theme. After this mellow flute strain is done, after I stretch out the kinks of an actual decent night of sleep!
Force a smile it actually feels good. Go on, do it. Feel that? That is what I am aiming for today. I now challenge myself. And you, dear handful of friends, I know you will. Smile even if it is forced. Next time I start to moan inwardly at some perceived infraction or interruption to my needs, I am going to force that shit down with a smile 🙂 I’m doing it right now. And the children aren’t even wondering why. (They might have already given up on my sanity).
I WILL SMILE! It will do more for me than griping.